Rachel has a Primary Brain Injury, what is that?, you ask. I have no clue. We have found that neurosurgeons do not have the best bedside manner. (A trait apparently shared by all neurosurgeons.) The Trauma Team at St. Vincent's has been great at answering these questions in which we are left feeling clueless and hopeless. In a nutshell, Rachel's brain needs time to heal. This will take quite a while to heal - months and maybe even years, we just don't know. She will be moved to a Long Term Care Facility for the healing process. I believe this to happen within the next week or so, but again, we don't know. Everyday we work to wean Rachel from some of the medicine's that keep her under, but we find that this causes too much agitation. We are also working on weaning her from her "vent" - the machine that helps her to breathe - how she is breathing, whether on her own, with a "vent" or through a "trach" will determine where she will be admitted. It will be a long road ahead, but I do believe that this time will be a much needed time for everyone to take time to heal, reflect and grow in their faith.
Even God took a break. Today I find myself at home. Even as I type this well into the afternoon I have yet to change out of my pj's. It's hard to make that decision to stay home and not be there physically at the hospital. But, I realized late last night that I am not a service to others by wearing myself thin. I have been able to use this day to rest, recuperate, and reflect. I am slowly beginning to feel re-energized to tackle this next phase of recovery for Rachel.
I want to also take a moment to send out a thank you to everyone that has been lifting Rachel and our family up in your prayers. When I am feeling at my lowest, I take a moment to reflect and I can feel your prayers coming through to lift me up. When I am visiting with Rachel, I can feel the prayers swirling around her room. It is then that I realize and understand that everything will be ok. So, again, thank you for your constant vigil and support. It is truly appreciated.
Please remember, to take a moment each day to tell your family and friends that you love them.
Rachel has always been a fan of Charlie Brown - this is for you Rachel! We love you and miss you!